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Dealing With Grief and Loss - How to Mend a Broken Heart


What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let's face it, it's hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.

We understand that this is necessary, at a surface level, but how we are feeling is what really counts. In that place we call Grief & Loss, is where pain dominates our life and where suffering is the paramount teacher. This is really difficult, and we know it only too well at times like these. We go there because we have to, but we try hard to escape, as soon as possible.

What is necessary now to get through to the end of this process? Is it simply a matter of toughing it out, or, do we have to dredge and dig and pummel ourselves along the way? It's hard to be sure what we must do at such times.

All those Gurus that say "do it this way or that way," are they capable of handling it themselves? As a survivor, going through grief, I would want to know that, wouldn't you? The essence of false advertising is "never having been there yourself," is it not? Absolutely, this we all know without a doubt.

So what do we require then to move through this landscape called Grief & Loss? We seem to know this at some level, don't we? We seem to know that deep down where our sorrows dwell, there is an inescapable reality. We have to feel this. Oh yes, it's an ugly fact, but true nevertheless. We have to feel this pain in order to exorcise it from our bodies. Yes, we have to feel it, so we can learn that this too is survivable. Isn't that the most important thing in all such activities - to know where you are at in your own heart when you finally get to the truth?

This truth I talk about is your truth, that feeling in your gut when you know you are right. Since this is your truth, then only You can determine its validity for yourself. No guru can ever take you there. Because deep down, this is your "house," your well-spring of creative experience. What happens here defines your life, tells you who you are and, right now, what you have to suffer at times of grief and loss.

To some that may seem sad though, to arrive in this "feeling" place where grief has brought you. But is it really? Perhaps it's a better thing than you imagined, this place where truth resides within. Perhaps it's more than you ever bargained for. Sure, grief brought you here, but what else goes on in this place of tender emotion? How about looking around, since you're already here?

These are your life lessons after all, to have and to hold, until your truths can be borne. How could you ever have a guru do that for you? No such luck! You have to do it yourself. But what a fantastic opportunity to get to know yourself better, to live deep inside your own heart and soul while this grieving process goes on around you.

Let me assure you that you will survive. You will overcome these tragic effects. Because there is truth in there where you live. And that truth will take you somewhere important - for you! This is Your Truth, remember, and only you can assess, experience and benefit from the effects it will have upon you.

So do it! Allow yourself to descend to where it hurts and find out for yourself what this experience of grief and loss is, and what it can teach you that might correct your misperceptions about Life, Love & Purpose. Yes, you have access to the truth, just as I do, just as we all do. As these lessons arrive, they are yours for the taking. We all get them. Grief and Loss are but one more avenue to help us get to our very own Truth. Yes, the suffering will eventually pass, but the Truth - well, that's forever!

Maurice Turmel PhD is the author of "Parables on Grief & Loss" and "Parables for a Modern Age." He was a practicing therapist for nearly 25 years, and is now an Author, Speaker and Performing Songwriter, all on the subjects of Personal Growth, Creative Self-Expression and dealing with Grief & Loss. He can be reached at drmoe@mauriceturmel.com or, through his Website at: http://www.mauriceturmel.com


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Grief - Google News

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After school shooting, anger and grief dominate anti-gun rally - Miami Herald


Miami Herald

After school shooting, anger and grief dominate anti-gun rally
Miami Herald
They showed up bearing homemade signs and placards that honored the victims of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting. They chanted and cheered and spoke of surviving a massacre that claimed 17 of their friends, teachers and loved ones ...
'President Trump, do something!' Grief turns to anger as Florida victims' relatives plead for gun control measures Telegraph.co.uk
How Trump has responded to moments of national grief ABC News
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Picture one LI grandfather's grief - Newsday


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Picture one LI grandfather's grief
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... Suffolk said it would follow Nassau's lead in adding opioids and other controlled substances to the county's social host law, which makes homeowners responsible for alcohol use by minors. And earlier this month, Long Island authorities were ...

Grief camp provides children with emotional outlets through arts and activities - Baltimore Sun


Baltimore Sun

Grief camp provides children with emotional outlets through arts and activities
Baltimore Sun
“It loosely follows [William] Worden's tasks of grieving, which are to accept the finality of the loss and incorporate it into your life and move forward and honor the emotions that you have,” said Anne Hansen, senior director of patient experience and ...

Grief as Filipina maid's body found in Kuwait freezer returns home - Khaleej Times


Khaleej Times

Grief as Filipina maid's body found in Kuwait freezer returns home
Khaleej Times
Grief as Filipina maid's body found in Kuwait freezer returns home. AFP/Iloilo (Philippines). Filed on February 17, 2018 | Last updated on February 17, 2018 at 10.37 pm. Share; More >. Vote. 0. Eva, mother of Joanna Demafelis (left), cries on receiving ...

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Nigel Havers credits wife for saving him from grief - RTE - RTE.ie


RTE.ie

Nigel Havers credits wife for saving him from grief - RTE
RTE.ie
Veteran actor Nigel Havers - who will shortly star at the Gaiety Theatre - credits his wife Georgiana Bronfman for saving him from grief following the death of his second wife, Polly Williams.

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There is no guidebook for grief, say editors of new compilation, 'Modern Loss' - The Times of Israel


The Times of Israel

There is no guidebook for grief, say editors of new compilation, 'Modern Loss'
The Times of Israel
More than a decade ago, Gabrielle Birkner and Rebecca Soffer became members of the same club — one neither of them ever wanted to be part of. As young women, they both suffered the sudden loss of both of their parents. Birkner's father and stepmother ...

The Starbucks in Parkland, Florida Has Become a Grief Center - Daily Beast


Daily Beast

The Starbucks in Parkland, Florida Has Become a Grief Center
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I know you're in a better place. Duques forever. Man I love you junior!!!! R.I.P Martin Duque!” https://www.instagram.com/p/BfNbqvJlUBj/?hl=en&taken-by=miguelduq19. It was signed with a black heart emoji. A GoFundMe account started by Miguel has raised ...

Grief and anger as Florida prepares to bury victims of school massacre - CNBC


CNBC

Grief and anger as Florida prepares to bury victims of school massacre
CNBC
As families prepared to bury victims of another U.S. mass shooting, grief mixed with anger amid indications that law enforcement may have missed clues about the suspected gunman's plans. Nikolas Cruz, 19, who had been expelled for disciplinary problems ...
'How Did This Happen?': Grief and Fury After Florida Shooting New York Times
Grief and anger as Florida town mourns young victims of deadly school shooting The Straits Times
Grief counselors offer support in the wake of Florida school shooting ABC News
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Grief counselling by the frozen peas. A story about snowflakes - Irish Times


Irish Times

Grief counselling by the frozen peas. A story about snowflakes
Irish Times
I know a wise woman who usually charges by the hour, but when things get really bad, she'll will give me 10 emergency minutes for free. I stand in the Centra, beside the frozen goods, and take counsel on a mobile phone. My friend Aisling died and I ...

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