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Like it or not, we think in line with our customs and tradition often times, right down to the level of how we think of death, or about death. I was a licensed counselor for many years, and the issue came up a few times, and I was sad at its results, to hear Americas shamefully trying to avoid talking about it. But let me put that aside and finish the article. Yes customs and traditions set down; do play a big part in how we view death. Death being a normal and natural thing; we mimic our parents and our TV heroes, and how they portray death. Why so much gloom out there on death [?] It has been around for a long time, as long as I've been around anyhow, fifty-seven years. It is often a taboo subject to talk bout it in certain places. But you can see a lot of books on the subject; more than I can count.
I live in Minnesota, and Peru, and I have traveled much through Mexico, Central America, and South America. The Maya, the Inca and the Aztecs took dying as a preparation period, along with rituals to be put into place; when they knew it was near; my mother was much like them. She told me about her preparing for death, three years before she died at 83, in 2003. She was looking death into its face. And just before she died she said, "I'm ready, I'm alright with it, let me go." I was sad, but being sad only says we had good times together, that is what brought my tears, no more times. Selfish in a way; also, my mother left me with some fine last words, something TV never leaves out and parents that do not allow their children to see their dying grandparents, and so forth; on TV, or at the movies, all one can find are grunts for their disappearing heroes. That is not life.
People fear to talk about death, as if it was a storm out of control, brewing just for them. Death is seldom viewed by children in America (as I previously implied), as if it was a private affair. I seen my mother in the hospital 26-times in 23-days, when she was dying; and she was laughing and joking in her death bed. I am grateful for that time. It is a choice I feel, and I'm glad I had the deciding vote. I believe children should be allowed to visit and see their grandparents on their dying beds, should they so wish to, and even pushed a bit to do so. My son's daughter saw her grandmother while she was dying in the hospital, and started crying, she was but a child. But what I feel she will remember is not her crying, but her great-grandmother's smiling, for that was the last picture she saw of her.
Perhaps death is too much like hell for Americans, because most people I talk to think everyone is going to heaven, and thus, hell no longer exists. Be that as it may, hell and death seem to be connected; as my mother used to say, "Dennis, why does everyone think they're going to heaven." I couldn't answer that, but now I can, hell is too close to death, and death is their nemeses.
Author and Poet Dennis Siluk, his web site is: http://dennissiluk.tripod.com
Grief - Google News
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If we were to organize a list of the thorniest problems for the bereaved, certainly somewhere near the top would be the question of miracles. Everybody has heard anecdotal stories of certain people who have suffered incredible, life-threatening injuries or illness, but who have somehow recovered against all odds.
A Critical Assessment of Euthanasia
The question of whether, say, a man should have the right to take away his life granted pain and suffering have overcome him is a very important question today. A different way of putting this question is this: 'Should a man have the right to take away his life if he ceases to function as a human being?' This matter would have been laid to rest had it not been that it strikes at the heart of law, key matters of health, and morality.
How to Deal with Suffering
Reflect upon the following questions, and answer those you feel might be most important for thosewho are most concerned about this topic.QUESTIONNAIRE ON HOW TO COPE WITH SUFFERING1- If there is a loving God, why do so many Christians and good people have to suffer so much whereas others don't? What about natural disasters?2- In suffering, why are some people so sensitive, and others not, over the same event? Give examples.
Do You Know Someone Whos Dying?
Too many people are dying alone?The dying are one of society's most unrecognized and under-served groups. As individuals near the end of life they are often ignored, discounted, misunderstood and forgotten.
Suicide in the Church Part 2
In a town the size of mine - about 16,000 - can a few suicides within a 90-day period be considered an epidemic? I'd say so. Quite a few Christians have contacted me since these tragedies have occurred, people struggling with the in's and out's of suicide and its effect on one's eternal reward, among other concerns.
Angel of Comfort... The Story
I am an Angel artist and several weeks ago while listening to the late night news, a news story came on that really touched my heart. On the way home in the wedding limo .
How to Deal with Suicide and Euthenasia
The following is a report that indicates how you might recognize suicidals, and how you might deal with them. But a warning: Suicide can be a very complex issue, and it might be better to have a professional deal with this issue if it comes up, but if this is very difficult to attain, this guide is a very good alternative to follow if you have no other solution to the problem.
Made in Heaven
Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend - my Mother.
And You Always Will
I opened the dishtowel drawer for about the sixth time, hoping the towels had somehow magically appeared.The brand new towels still weren't there, of course.
One Stray Tear
The delight lit my face as the couple turned the corner into the hallway where we stood in lively conversation. I threw my arms open wide, ignored the cell phones plastered to their ears, greeted each of them, first the husband then the wife who followed slightly behind him.
Grief Support: The Dos
Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do? What should I say? Am I doing the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing?" Here are some suggestions for how to best help those in grief.1) Do give grievers the permission to grieve.
When The Spirit Leaves The Body
Do you spend most of your time inside or outside of your body? If you know what I'm talking about then I can almost certainly say that you have spent some time outside of your body.What does it even mean to "be outside" of one's body? Well, in order to appreciate what this means you must have an experience of your "Self" first and then you must be able to "feel" where that "Self" is geographically speaking.
If you have ever lost someone dear to you it is likely that you can still summon up the grief that you may still be carrying deep inside yourself as a result of the loss. If this grief, which is usually felt as a deep saddness, is something that you would like to clear in yourself then you may find some hope here.
Terrorism Worries: 10 Ways to Turn Fear into Hope
September 11th changed America and chances are it changed you. Images of that tragic day pop into your mind without warning and you have a constant feeling of anxiety.
The Truth About Emotional Intelligence
There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence these days that it appears that people are suppressing their emotions and problems in an effort to "fit in," to keep their jobs, and using "positive self-talk" to muscle through the rough spots in their lives.Recently, I had a friend over who has suffered enormous job stress during a time when his wife's father was dying of cancer.
Grief & Loss - Healing Your Broken Heart
What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let's face it, it's hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.We understand that this is necessary, at a surface level, but how we are feeling is what really counts.
Scared to Death of Dying and Denying Grief
When I invited Martha to the gathering at my house, she accepted the invitation cheerfully. Martha was new to the area and so I thought this small potluck I was hosting would be a chance for her to get to know other women in our town.
Guilty, Your Honor: The Burden of Guilt After a Suicide
Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so horrible that you would prefer to hide in a dark closet for the rest of your life than have someone find out you did it? Have you ever done something so bad that even remembering what you did causes you to hyperventilate and shake?I have.
Dying On the Inside: A Childs Grief
The impatient tooting of a car horn startled us into awareness. No one had thought beyond making it through the grievous night.
Then and Now
Over one hundred years ago, during the Victorian era, death and grief were popular subjects for poems, songs and stories. Grieving was considered a natural and acceptable part of the culture.
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