Let us create a 3D eBook for you!
Let us create a 3d Digital eBook for you! DigyCat.com

Moving Beyond Grief and Loss


In my work as a coach and therapist, I have seen many clients dealing with losses of all kinds-loss of loved ones through death and divorce, for instance. These experiences are difficult for everyone.

Stages of Recovery from Loss

There are some predictable stages that most people pass through after losing something or someone important. In her work on death and dying, Elisabeth Kbler-Ross outlined five stages of grieving.

Shock and Denial: The first reaction to loss is often the inability to feel anything. This may include feeling numb, weak, overwhelmed, anxious, not yourself, or withdrawn.

Anger: Blaming yourself or others for the loss.

Bargaining: "If you'll just let him live, I'll promise to go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life."

Depression: Feeling deep sadness, disturbed sleep and eating patterns, thoughts of suicide, excessive crying.

Acceptance: Beginning to look for the lessons of the experience.

Kbler-Ross said that the grieving process involves experiencing all five stages, although not always in this order. She also said that people often cycle back and forth through a number of the stages before coming to the stage of acceptance.

Kinds of Losses

Some examples of significant losses are:

? Loss of a person through death

? Divorce

? Job loss

? Loss of your good health when you are diagnosed with a disease

? Loss of a body part through accident or surgery

? Loss of an ability, such as blindness

? Loss of a friend who has moved

? Loss of everything familiar when you move away

Each kind of loss affects each person in a different way, but the recovery process usually follows Kbler-Ross's five stages.

Recovering from Loss: Some Key Points

1. You are responsible for your own grief process. No one can tell you how to grieve, and no one will do your grieving for you. It is hard work and you must manage the process by yourself.

2. The grief process has a purpose. It is to help you learn to accept the reality of the loss and to learn from the experience.

3. Remind yourself that your grief will end. You will not feel like this forever. You will heal.

4. Take care of your health. Grief is extremely stressful, and it requires energy to manage the stress.

5. Be careful with food and drink. While it may be tempting to numb the pain with food and drink, this can lead to the additional problems of alcohol dependence and overweight. Also, numbing the pain means you are prolonging denial. This will make your grieving process longer.

6. Talk about the person who is no longer in your life. People sometimes avoid talking about the loss as a denial mechanism. However, this prolongs denial and the grieving process.

7. Take time to be alone. In the days and weeks following the loss of a loved one, there is often a flurry of activity with many visitors and phone calls. Added to the stress of your loss, this can be completely exhausting. People will understand if you don't answer the phone for an afternoon or go to your room and close the door for a while.

Don't make any important decisions until your life feels more balanced. It can be tempting to make some important change right after a major loss as an effort to feel

more in control.

8. Maintain a normal routine if you can. You have enough changes in your life right now. Try to get up in the morning, go to bed at night, and take your meals at the same times you usually do.

9. Ask for help. You will need it. If you don't want to be alone, or if you want someone to take you somewhere, it is okay to ask. People don't expect you to be self-sufficient right now.

10. Let people help you. People want to help because it gives them a way to express their feelings. Staying connected with people is especially important now, and accepting help is a way of staying connected.

11. Keep a journal of your feelings and experiences during the grief process. Writing about your feelings helps you express them, rather than keeping them inside. It also gives you something to remember and review in the future, which you will appreciate.

Writing about your feelings helps you express them, rather than keeping them inside.

12. Avoid making extreme life changes after a major loss. Don't make any important decisions until your life feels more balanced. It can be tempting to make some important changes right after a major loss as an effort to feel more in control. If you can, put off such changes and decisions until later.

13. Don't hurry your grief process. People sometimes want to put their feelings and memories behind them because they are painful. But grieving takes time, and there are no shortcuts.

14. Remind yourself that although grief hurts, it will not harm you. Grief is painful, but you will survive and even grow from the experience.

15. Expect to regress in your recovery process from time to time. This is normal. It may happen unexpectedly, but it probably won't last long.

16. Acknowledge the anniversary of your loss by taking the day off or doing something special. Have supportive people ready to be with you. It could be a difficult day and it's better not to be alone.

How to Help Someone Who Is Grieving

1. Don't try to get them to feel or be anything but what they are.

2. Don't reward them for acting cheerful or "like your old self." This teaches them to suppress their feelings around you.

3. Don't avoid them. They need your support.

4. Let them tell about the loss again and again, if they need to.

5. Recognize that unexpected, perhaps inappropriate behavior is part of the grieving process. It means the bereaved person is moving forward.

Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and phone/telephone counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.


MORE RESOURCES:

Grief - Google News

This RSS feed URL is deprecated

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

When your pet dies: Grief without relief - Lompoc Record


Lompoc Record

When your pet dies: Grief without relief
Lompoc Record
I can't even begin to explain the grief and pain we feel at the loss of this sweet pet. I just wish people would stop saying things such as, 'You can always get another dog.' Yes, we can, but nothing takes the place of a beloved pet. Or 'Time heals all ...

and more »

Holiday grief support helps with loss - Hillsboro Times Gazette


WXII The Triad

Holiday grief support helps with loss
Hillsboro Times Gazette
Finding Hope Through the Holidays is a presentation by the Community Care Hospice bereavement counseling staff that will celebrate and honor lost loved ones, and offer insight into ways to cope with grief during the emotionally charged holiday season.
Grief counselors offer advice for coping with loss during the holidays WXII The Triad

all 2 news articles »

Ratko Mladic guilty verdict caps decades of grief for families affected by the Srebrenica massacre - ABC Online


ABC Online

Ratko Mladic guilty verdict caps decades of grief for families affected by the Srebrenica massacre
ABC Online
The Bosnian Serb death squads that operated under Mladic's command wiped out her whole family. "All those things he did," she said, "and finally a day came, a second, a minute came that confirmed that it had happened. He was hiding for years, he could ...
Ratko Mladic conviction caps decades of grief over Srebrenica massacre NBCNews.com

all 715 news articles »

Holiday Grief: Tampa Bay families thankful for final moments with loved ones - WTSP 10 News


WTSP 10 News

Holiday Grief: Tampa Bay families thankful for final moments with loved ones
WTSP 10 News
St.Petersburg, FL - Many of you are probably going to the store to get those last minute things for Thanksgiving. But there are families in the Tampa Bay area dealing with grief during the holiday. Pam Conway has been spending the last two weeks at a ...

Grief support group forming, first meeting is Nov. 30 - The Mountaineer


The Mountaineer

Grief support group forming, first meeting is Nov. 30
The Mountaineer
A grief support group will be offered from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. Thursday, Nov. 30, in the Hospitality Room at First United Methodist Church of Canton, 29 Newfound St. This group will offer spiritual care and an emotional outlet for people in the community ...

DIRIGO STORIES: Running through grief, Kennebunk man copes using road races - WGME


DIRIGO STORIES: Running through grief, Kennebunk man copes using road races
WGME
DIRIGO STORIES: Running through grief, Kennebunk man copes using road races. by Jana Barnello. Allyn Genest, 67, set a goal to run 67 road races this year. By the end of November, he will have run in 80 (Courtesy: Allyn Genest). Allyn23.jpg · Allyn25.jpg.

Birmingham's Amelia Center offers free grief counseling services for children and adults - WIAT 42


WIAT 42

Birmingham's Amelia Center offers free grief counseling services for children and adults
WIAT 42
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (CBS42 Community) — The holiday season can be especially difficult if you are grieving the loss of a child, a parent or guardian. Although the center has been around for over 20 years, many do not know about the free grief counseling ...

Dealing with grief, loneliness, and the holidays - Aleteia EN


Aleteia EN

Dealing with grief, loneliness, and the holidays
Aleteia EN
I lost my wife last March and there are two things I have learned for sure: first; each and every one of us experiences grief and loneliness in our own unique way and second; my Catholic faith is my Fortress of Solitude (yes, like Superman). It is my ...

'This Is Us' Star Chrissy Metz Breaks Down Kate's Grieving Process - Variety


Variety

'This Is Us' Star Chrissy Metz Breaks Down Kate's Grieving Process
Variety
SPOILER ALERT: Do not read if you have not yet watched “Number Two,” the ninth episode of the second season of “This Is Us.” Kate Pearson (Chrissy Metz) still hasn't fully processed her grief or the guilt she feels after her father, Jack (Milo ...
This Is Us Miscarriage Episode Showed Tobys Grief - Refinery29 Refinery29
'This Is Us' Breaks Down The Stigma Of Miscarriage HuffPost
Chrissy Metz Opens Up About Her Character's Loss on 'This Is Us' Just Jared
The Tracking Board (press release) (blog)  - Cinema Blend  - Hollywood Reporter  - EW.com
all 76 news articles »

LargeFriends.com - the best dating site for plus-sized singles!
SuccessfulMatchCentral.com - the best dating site for plus-sized singles!

PreLaunchX

DietRight.biz Domain Is For Sale - $8,500 For Enquiries eMail Us

© www.DietRight.biz 2012

home | site map | links